Author: DestroyRepeat

Lately, more and more developers seem to be latching onto the idea that players actually enjoy breaking games. You’ve got Deus Ex creator Warren Spector, proudly asserting that he knows he’s done his job when somebody “does something I thought was impossible to do”. You’ve got Arkane’s Dishonored, a bubbling cauldron of powers, environmental variables and character behaviours that cries out for the ladle of player curiosity. You’ve got Need for Speed: Most Wanted, which makes it possible to mod cars while you’re racing them. And you’ve got Black Ops 2, a Call of Duty that encourages players to jigger the Modern Warfare class system for personal gain.

I’ve been fiddling around with the latter a bit lately, care of this strictly provisional class generator from CallofDutySeries.de. In brief, the idea is that you get 10 points to spend on guns, perks and equipment per class. There are limited slots per category – only two attachments per weapon, for instance – but you can bend these rules a bit by using “wildcards”.

Here are three classes I’ve constructed this afternoon. I’m fondly of the opinion that they lend me a devastating advantage over anybody and everybody. By all means have a tinker yourself, and prove me wrong.

The Scoper

The Scoper takes an open-minded view to controversy over the “validity” of quick-scoping (in brief, exploiting the temporary auto-aim that kicks in when zooming to scope). There is, after all, plenty of time to discuss such matters when you’re bleeding all over the lobby screen, waiting for the respawn counter to elapse so that the Scoper can once again punch a bullet out the back of your skull while appearing to aim at your knees. The Scoper understands that some people prefer not to quickscope for reasons of Puritanism (“it’s not realistic”, etc), incompetence or outright insanity, and sees it as his task in life to minimise their suffering. Repeatedly.

To this end, he’s armed not merely with a DSR-50 sniper rifle, but a DSR-50 sporting a Suppressor, Fast Mags and Extended Clip, care of the Primary Gunfighter wildcard (which unlocks a third attachment slot). Thanks to the Dexterity perk, he’s capable of levelling the thing in slightly less time than it takes a synapse to fizzle. In the unlikely event the Scoper is obliged to trade bullets with the person he’s firing at, he’s packing a second primary weapon via the Overkill wildcard – an MP7 SMG with a cheeky underslung grenade launcher. You will despise him, utterly. He’s cool with this.

The Knifeman

When you first meet the Knifeman, you will laugh at him. You will laugh till you cry tears of the purest incredulity. Who is this man, this fool who openly disdains the all-powerful firearm and her close cousin, the handheld explosive? How does he hope to gain by filling his pockets with Perk Greed wildcards, unlocking additional Perk slots at the expense of offensive capability? What will his hand-to-hand skill avail him when Heaven’s vault fills with exploding hornets, when maps are criss-crossed by the sightlines of all-piercing sniper rifles?

Make the most of your chance to laugh at the Knifeman, for once the battle cry is sounded you shall never lay eyes on him again. Thanks to Blind Eye, Ghost and Cold-Blooded, the beams of your satellites and the winking lenses of your UAVs will slide past him like the clutching hands of oily wrestlers. Your ears will offer you no forewarning of his approach. Those silly ornamental telescopes you clip to the barrels of your thuggish, coward’s weapons will shy from his Cold-Blooded form like horses from a spider. And your artificial textiles will offer no defence against the coursing vengeance of his blade. For the Knifeman’s silence is the silence of death itself. Also, he’s got a crossbow.