So it’s the festive season and you need a bit of downtime. You’ve been working hard in the run up to finishing work before the holidays. Let JOE tell you how to get some.
by Genna Patterson
If Carlsberg did bloke Christmas’s this would mean you with a crate of beer (Carlsberg of course), the telly and Call of Duty. No interruptions unless they’re of the call of nature variety.
However, unless you have no family, friends or obligations (what’s wrong with you, even Hitler had a girlfriend?), you will probably spend most of your time being shepherded around family and friends houses, roped into helping make dinner or worse, clean up after dinner; before or after you’ve done the rounds with the other half.
This does not please you. So how do you get the time, without being nagged, to relax, put your feet up and get some time to yourself with the Xbox or PlayStation?
By ‘buying’ time, that’s how. Here’s JOE’s guide to Christmas tasks that may just appease your loved ones and score you points for some real man time.
CDT = Call of Duty Time
Visiting the in-laws – 1 hour CDT
Visiting the siblings-in-law with the screaming house full of kids – 1.5 hours CDT
Setting the table – 10 minutes CDT
Clearing the table – 10 minutes CDT
Loading the dishwasher -10 minutes CDT
Hoovering – 20 minutes CDT
Present shopping (unattended) – 1 hour CDT
Present shopping (attended by missus) – 30 minutes CDT
Wrapping presents – 10 minutes CDT
Cooking dinner – 30 minutes CDT
Peeling spuds, carrots, Brussels sprouts etc – 20 minutes CDT
Going to mass/church – 40 minutes CDT
Designated driver for any Christmas drinks occasion – 15 minutes CDT
Buying last minute items – 15 minutes CDT
Fixing the thing that broke – 10 minutes CDT
JOE would like to suggest using your CDT when the missus is getting ready – you know you might get some extra time in while she figures out what to wear. Use your time wisely, and maybe even save some up for when you really need it.
Note: Running a bath for your lady will not only buy you at least 30 minutes CDT, but you will also get to use the time she is occupied for some extra CDT.
Happy Christmas from JOE.