Video Games

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2: Release the ‘Angry Man’

Call of Duty: Blacks Ops 2 will be released on November 13. The game, developed by Treyarch and published by Activision, will be the ninth in the series, cementing it as one of the most iconic brands in modern gaming. The one thing that has grown over the lifespan of the chart-topping action-packed first-person shooter is its online gaming platform that brings players together for an all out war, for tactical shooting or to be unfortunately n00b-tubed.

Of course, the n00b-tuber is just one of the many online personalities we pass on the battlefield, but they’re not the only ones we’re unlucky enough to have dent our online COD experience.

Despite increases in age ratings and gore with each Call of Duty released, the amount of kids that appear to be playing the game online seems to be rife. The problem with these Biliebers comes in the understanding of the game, the tactics and the volume level on their microphone.

Being on the receiving end of a rant from a ten year old about camping is one thing, but hearing the shriek of their voice as a they’re ambushed by the opposing team, you don’t forget that sort of thing. You weren’t there, man, you weren’t there.

The n00b
Ok, so everyone wants to be a hero, but an expendable in a team game does not add up.

Maybe it comes down to inexperience, or just a blind belief of being indestructible, either way n00bs that head out on to the battleground like a spinning top start to rack up the wrong sort of kills very quickly.

No-one is asking these people to be expert soldiers and build gun out of Marilyn Monroe posters and ration tickets within their first few days of playing, but a little consideration for your comrades wouldn’t go amiss.

The Angry Man
Ever met someone that’s constantly hateful towards the world, yet apparently more intelligent than anyone in the game? That’s the Angry Man.

With little desire for teammates and the game in general the Angry Man will wander through the battlefield swearing at everyone and how sh*t they are, whilst of course making Wikipedia based references about how history has be skewed by developers that have no idea what they are doing. They’re also likely to mention things about family members and dodgy politics.

To them we say ‘Walk-on angry man, and play abroad’.

Team-killers are probably the most infuriating type of COD player and one that most of us would be happy to see erased from Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 upon its release. The team-killer is the person that sees your hard work, your reward being dropped from the sky, and without empathy puts a bullet in your brain without a second thought.

The pain here comes directly from being cheated on by someone you put your full trust into; I’d imagine being ditched at the altar would offer slightly less of gut-wrenching torment.

If there’s no trust between brothers in arms then the life we’re looking for on Mars in the coming months is going to tear us apart if we find it; and take our trophies, all of them.

The too-good-for-their-agers

Ok, so maybe having kids on your team isn’t so bad, especially if they have a reasonable father who has trained them to be the ultimate COD player as soon as their hands could carry the control pad.

However, on the opposing team these COD specialists are very irritating. One thinks they’re already doing pull-ups on the side of crib as we speak. Be prepared folks!

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 will be released across Europe on November 13.